Tag: help

One Call Away

The emotional roller coaster that is life continues to just chug along at an incredibly fast pace these days, with the holiday season in full swing and lot’s of last minute preparations to finish up, to the family get together, to wrapping presents and getting ready for the magic that is Christmas morning… well it’s a lot.  Add on a touch of seasonal mood disorder with the lack of sunlight this time of year has always been a struggle for me.

I should say that it used to be.  Working a Keg Christmas schedule made it impossible to ever properly rest, let alone keep the thoughts and feelings in your head straight, organized and clear.

08387f6a628ddb7b24908c1831078918This year I have found an incredible clarity and sense of peace.  This inner peace has allowed me to handle the emotional roller coaster in a way I never have been able to before.  There are several other factors involved as well, but for the first time in over 20 years I am thoroughly enjoying this holiday season and the craziness that comes along with it.

Busy… no problem.  I got this.

Today I will be making three different pies, five dozen sugar cookies (thanks for the icing tips last night!! much needed) and perhaps even a Chocolate Raspberry cheesecake for dessert at my sisters family gathering.  Also need to wrap up the stocking stuffers tonight and finalize any other details I may have overlooked.

The flip side to my ying, is always someone else’s yang.  I am watching close friends, and family members struggle with this season.  It’s been incredibly hard to watch my daughter struggle with the simple fact of being happy.  I’ve seen this in other’s close to me as well, struggle with the non stop curve balls that life is throwing there way.  At the same time I have found an inner strength that has allowed me to be a rock for others that need that love and support.

I talked with my daughter for two hours last night about how she was feeling, and while she couldn’t quite summon the words needed to express herself just by being there and sharing stories from my childhood helped her back from the ledge and into a better place.  That is the message of today’s song that I would like to share…

One Call Away ~ Charlie Puth

I’m only one call away
I’ll be there to save the day
Superman got nothing on me
I’m only one call away
Call me, baby, if you need a friend
I just wanna give you love
Come on, come on, come on
Reaching out to you, so take a chance
No matter where you go
You know you’re not alone
I’m only one call away
I’ll be there to save the day
Superman got nothing on me
I’m only one call away
Come along with me and don’t be scared
I just wanna set you free
Come on, come on, come on
You and me can make it anywhere
For now, we can stay here for a while, ay
‘Cause you know, I just wanna see you smile
No matter where you go
You know you’re not alone
I’m only one call away
I’ll be there to save the day
Superman got nothing on me
I’m only one call away
And when you’re weak I’ll be strong
I’m gonna keep holding on
Now don’t you worry, it won’t be long, Darling
And when you feel like hope is gone
Just run into my arms
I’m only one call away
I’ll be there to save the day
Superman got nothing on me
I’m only one, I’m only one call away
I’ll be there to save the day
Superman got nothing on me
I’m only one call away
I’m only one call away

Superman Song

Perhaps my all time favorite song…

Superman Song ~ The Crash Test Dummies

superman-cryingTarzan wasn’t a ladies man
He’d just come along and scoop ’em
Up under his arm like that
Quick as a cat, in the jungle
Clark Kent, now there was a real gent
He would not be caught sittin’ around in no jungle scape
Dumb as an ape, doin’ nothing

Superman never made any money
Savin’ the world from Solomon Grundy
And sometimes I despair
The world will never see another man like him

Hey Bob, Supe had a straight job
Even though he coulda smashed through
Any bank in the United States
He had the strength but he would not
Folks said his family were all dead
Planet crumbled, but Superman he forced himself
To carry on, forget Krypton, and keep goin’

Superman never made any money
Savin’ the world from Solomon Grundy
And sometimes I despair
The world will never see another man like him

Tarzan was king of the jungle
And lord over all the apes
But he could hardly string together
Four words, I Tarzan you Jane

Sometimes when Supe was stoppin’ crimes
I’ll bet that he was tempted to just quit
And turn his back on man
Join Tarzan in the forest
But he stayed in the city
Kept on changin’ clothes
In dirty old phone booths ’til his work was through
Had nothin’ to do but go on home

Superman never made any money
Savin’ the world from Solomon Grundy
And sometimes I despair
The world will never see another man like him

And sometimes I despair
The world will never see another man like him

Finding the Inner Strength to Do the Right Thing

Well guys as hard as it was for me to do but I had to ask my daughter to leave my house by the end of the week.
broken-heart-2After the events of last weekend with her lying and stealing, I sought out as many different thoughts and opinions on the subject.  I made a post in the Men’s support group I have joined and got many excellent suggestions.  I talked to several more people and solicited several other female opinions trying to get inside Emily’s head as this is clearly something a 45 year old man would have trouble understanding.
I came up with three options for her.
First was to continue living at home, I laid out very clearly all the expectations of living here along with a list of the benefits and consequences of her recent actions.
The second was to live at her mom’s house that would come with it’s own set of expectations and consequences.
And the third was to move out on her own/with a friend into the real world, and away from this reality she has created for herself through her choices and actions over the last several months. And again I clearly let her know about the real world and some of the issues that she would face. Rent, food, clothing, etc.
I explained that I would not pay her cell bill, apple music and a few others as these were the consequences of choosing option three.
She continually told me that she didn’t need help and didn’t want to be treated like a 2 year old that had Downs (as she put it).  The words back came easily to me as they were all coming from a place of love and only wanting what is best for her.  Not to control her life, not to take away the independence that she was had but help, help in making better choices.
If she didn’t need help why was she failing three of her four classes this semester?  If she didn’t need help why did she openly refuse to stop smoking pot?  If she didn’t need help why couldn’t she get up on time to catch the bus in the morning?  I laid out these scenarios to her trying to show her the behaviours that I had been watching.
Her steadfast refusal to admit she needed help, or to even talk to anyone. I calmly asked that had she not seen the changes in her father over the last few months (and she did) and I said I was only able to achieve this lasting change through talking and sharing the weight/burden that I had been carrying for years. That I actually got help.
By sharing, by becoming an open book by allowing others help me with my issues.  Not solving them, listening, being there for support.  There is such strength in a community and sharing the weight of your troubles with others.  They help you carrying the load, to get through, to persevere and to grow.  A concept that I didn’t understand until very recently.
She wouldn’t even look at or let me talk to her about what my house conditions would be.  She out right refused to option one.  She didn’t want to move back home with her mother so I told her that she clearly has chosen option three.
I had no choice, stuck to my guns and asked her to be out by Friday.
I did let her know that she would be welcome back her at anytime as long as she was willinging to follow my rules. She started crying, asked me to leave her room. I had been talking with her mother, she was quite upset, I talked to Megan her younger sister (13) and explained exactly what was going on. This whole experience has really drawn the two of us closer together and strengthened that bond.
I left sticking to my guns and while not feeling good about what I had to do, I did it knowing that I was coming from a position of love, wanting the best for her, and wanting her to get the help she refuses to acknowledge that she needs.
It may be the toughest thing a parent will ever have to do is to remove a child from their house. But I did it but man does it suck. This week should be interesting. I don’t suspect she will come home from school today, in fact I doubt she even gets up for school today but that is another issue entirely.
One that she needs help for…