Am I Even Ready?

So how do you know your even ready to start dating again?  And I have realized that as I’ve met ladies in various states of readiness themselves.  Even sitting here now I am thinking to myself, am I even ready?  Ha ha..

A year ago not a chance, not even close to being ready.  I hadn’t learned enough about myself, and what I was going through to be able to open up to another person.  Taking a step back from life if you will, and learning about being a great father and husband.  I needed to learn how to listen, and talk openly and to be present.  I needed to learn what a love language was I could better recognize and speak them.  I needed to gain a level of self confidence so I could successfully navigate the highs and lows of a relationship in a positive and healthy way.  And I had to clear out all my baggage from my previous relationships,  I’d been carrying that shit around for far too long.

So began a journey at the start of 2018 that has continued to this day, the men that I’ve met, the life lessons that I continue to learn, the way I’ve seen my relationships change over the past year, how much more at peace with everything I am.  The Dad’s Edge Alliance has changed my life, and sent it in the most wonderful direction.  I had the fortunate pleasure of going on a retreat in St. Louis this past June that was life changing.  And my 20 hour drive home from that trip I was able to think about my life and what I wanted moving forward.

I wanted to find her.  And I was ready.

A couple of days later I was talking with Larry Hagner, the man that runs the D.E.A. and we end up recording a podcast about the subject of relationships and what I have learned about not only why I had been unsuccessful in the past, more importantly how to be success moving forward.  How to be open and vulnerable and present in each and every moment, as much as possible.  I moved my family in June and July and when that was finished, and I was looking at a kid free week at the end of July I knew the timing was right.

I’d been a single man for almost two years at this point, I had moved out and moved on.  Things had settled down in all other areas of my life, my job, my children, the move… I wrote a lot about the subject in my journal and one fine morning I woke up bright and early stood there and looked at myself in the mirror and I just knew.

Let’s do this.

My next post will be about how this change of mindset came about for me, and some of the things that I’ve done or read that has helped reshape the way that I think.

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