One of the things that I knew I would have to do is completely change my mindset about first off being single, and being happy all on my own. Needed someone in my life to be happy was not the key to being successful, it would only lead to further issues as any relationship progressed. Being happy as a single man raising 4 kids was key to the success of any future relationship!
That process took almost two full years before I knew I was ready, and I needed lot’s of signs along the way to help convince me. Truthfully in the beginning I wasn’t even interested in even looking at another lady, when I would go to the gym I would keep to myself despite many opportunity to just talk with another person. Wasn’t interested… My friends kept telling me that it would happen when I least expected it, and there was some truth to that…
At the start of 2018, I actually met someone and had a few month relationship that was great but unfortunately due to the timing of life was destined to fail from the beginning. What I did learn that I wasn’t quite ready yet, I was getting closer but not there. I embarked on a journey to make me happy, and as much as I enjoyed the summer of 2017 even calling it the Summer of George, in 2018 I needed to change my mindset. I need to learn how to be successful, to be happy, to be open and vulnerable.
Being a member of the Dad’s Edge Alliance, I joined a weekly mastermind where I went on a weekly journey with a fantastic group of men that completely changed my life. Each month this group of men would dive into a different topic, and discuss it over a series of weekly calls. In the month of February for example, we reviewed the Five Love Languages, a concept to that point that I had no previous knowledge of… Reading that book, and then the book No More Mr Nice Guy, and then The Miracle Morning… each one of these books has introduced ideas and concepts into my life that I really knew nothing about before. And each one helped me grow just a bit more as a man and father.
It was a trip that I took in the beginning of June that truly changed my world and showed just how powerful a life full of authenticity and openness can truly be. Spending three days with 70 other fathers and men with the purpose of becoming better husbands and fathers was well, mere words will ever be able to describe the experience. From about three pm on Saturday through to 4 am on Monday morning when I finally got home I was alone with my thoughts. Sitting around the campfire outside of St. Louis and writing in my journal about my experience, and then what I wanted next in life.
The first thing I wrote about was dating… was about meeting someone special… was about sharing my life with someone again. Waking up in the morning and sharing some coffee, right through to falling asleep at the end of the day in each others arms after an active, fun day. The 20 hour drive on the way home was just perfect for reflecting and thinking about what’s next?
I knew I was ready. And so while the first task after getting home from St. Louis was to move my family to the next town over, and when that oh so fun task was completed 6 weeks later, I fired up the Tinder and Match accounts on a bright and sunny Monday morning…